100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 30 - The Big Show vs. Kane
King of the Ring 1999
We’ve all been there. Especially in the modern times when a lot of us are now working from home, we’ve all stolen a quick 5-10 minute nap from our capitalist overlords. Truly, the Big Show may just have been ahead of the curve here. Unfortunately for Big Show, he doesn’t work a desk job from his home, his job requires him to perform in front of thousands in attendance and millions watching worldwide.
Big Show decides that tonight is the perfect time to steal a cheap nap right here in front of us all. 1999 might be the low point of his career, both in terms of wrestling ability and his overall aesthetic. Unlike 2006 when he was struggling for fitness, he could still hit his moves to a reasonable standard, which is more than I can say for his early WWE run. If you watch the first part of this match, you’ll see how sloppy and uncoordinated he looks, as well as just looking horrific.
I’ve often mentioned one of the criteria for this process is whether or not I had high expectations for the match or not. The prospect of Kane vs Big Show would not excite me in the slightest at any point in history. After all, the only match they ever had that was somewhat remotely entertaining was when they decided to take the piss on Raw and have a chain wrestling match. However if you think this is going to be another average low-quality Kane vs Big Show match, then you are sorely mistaken. It might start that way, but as soon as the referee is knocked down, it all goes to hell. I’d say it takes a startling lack of effort for these two to disappoint me. Truly the epitome of “I expected nothing and I’m still disappointed”. This match makes the ill-fated Backlash 2006 match look like a masterpiece.
The ref bump is your standard bullshit attitude era stupidity. He stands right behind Big Show in a completely unnatural position in a way that only makes sense if you’ve got a bump coming. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m so glad that wrestling as a whole has gotten smarter to ref bumps because this era is tough to watch when the ref bumps are so transparent. Made even worse by the sheer abundance of them on every single show.
“I don’t know if this referee will ever get up”, says JR - but he doesn’t realise this is an Attitude Era referee. He’ll be back just in time for the finish, don’t you worry.
Hardcore Holly, fresh off getting himself blatantly disqualified in the quarter finals a match earlier (Vince Russo, everyone), runs down to attack Big Show with a steel chair. See, Holly was trying to get revenge on Big Show’s murder attempt on Raw where he tried to push Holly’s car onto Holly. In retrospect, Holly trying to cost Big Show the King of the Ring seems more than fair justice.
Holly’s interference fails, but that distraction allows Kane to lock in a choke hold on Big Show. And then they just stay there in a choke hold, and Big Show basically takes a nap in the ring. I genuinely thought this chokehold lasted 10 minutes, but somehow it was only 3 minutes. This should also be in the context of this clocking in at just over 6 minutes, meaning this choke lasts damn near half the match of them just … standing. Drooling. Waiting. The referee is also taking this wonderful opportunity to sneak in a cheeky snooze himself.
After a while the crowd really starts to get restless and boos this lazy match. Big Show uses this as a prompt to break out of the choke hold, which makes me think the whole point of this was just to gain a reaction of some kind. Kane decides that’s a perfect time to end the match, so immediately following the release of the choke, smacks Big Show with a chair. The referee miraculously and shockingly wakes up just in time to count the three and end this literal snoozefest.
Up Next - A TV match so infamously bad, it is known as THAT match.
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