100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 36 - Goldust vs. Razor Ramon
Intercontinental Championship - Royal Rumble 1996
Far more pressing than the work itself with this particular match is the storyline that surrounds it, which makes this one of the more unpleasant and uncomfortable viewing experiences of this process. Goldust became infatuated with the Intercontinental Champion and began stalking Razor Ramon in the weeks leading up to the match. He would write him love letters, send him gifts, and even get a tattoo of Razor’s name printed on his chest. Goldust - the flamboyant heel - was portrayed as perverted, sinister, and abusive.
Now the contrarian to what I’m about to say may argue that Goldust was never explicitly called gay or bisexual, and that it was all mind games. To this I reply: it doesn’t matter what is explicitly stated.
If for whatever reason you want to give WWE the benefit of the doubt for this, then I urge you to watch this match and try and see how many ‘f-word’ slurs you can see directed at Goldust from the crowd. The fact is, this storyline exploited what was a prevailing stereotype about homosexuals and the supposed perversion surrounding it. It wasn’t even like a Muhammad Hassan gimmick that took a negative stereotype but at least put a twist on it so it wasn’t as egregiously exploitative (this may be the only form of praise I ever give to the Hassan gimmick, so cherish this). This storyline is a perverted character stalking, sexually abusing, and praying on a straight character. Whether they say the character is gay or not is irrelevant because the implication is so heavy handed that it doesn’t matter what he actually is. There is no ambiguity here, no room for argument, and no defence for its content. This was a prevailing fear for much of modern history, exacerbated in the 1980s, and only recently has society become more accepting of this community. But because of the gay panic - and these stereotypes reinforced by media, entertainment, politicians, and religious groups - the effects of this homophobia are still felt in the LGBT community today. These stereotypes do exist to this day, even if society has come a long way since the 80s and 90s. WWE fully knew these fears and used one of its performers to exploit that to make him a detested heel stalker.
Beyond the storyline, I think there’s a fair argument that if this was a standard match, I probably wouldn’t include it on this list - and certainly not this high. Don’t get me wrong, this is a bad match, like most matches of Goldust in his first WWE run. Mechanically the match is fine - there’s no botches or sloppy work whatsoever, which I think is to be expected from these two at this point in their careers. Rather, it’s everything else that surrounds this match. Goldust may be one of the most erratic wrestlers of all time when looking strictly at his in-ring work. Given any random match in his career, you could be treated to a gem of a match, or to a complete catastrophe. Gimmicks that aren’t conducive to good wrestling as well as Goldust’s own well documented demons caused this truly great wrestler to fall repeatedly to some low standards of work. 1996 is one of those years.
Goldust debuts Marlena here, who sits in her director’s chair and acts as another vehicle to cause distractions and stall for time. If 1996 Goldust and Larry Zbyszko had a match, I think it would still be happening to this day. Every time I try to view this match from the perspective of just a wrestling match, I’m distracted by the sexual undertones throughout and it brings me back to my previous points. Goldust stalls and uses that time to lick his lips, rub his nipples, and all sorts of other suggestive antics. Even when they’re in the middle of trading holds, Goldust makes sure to take the time to rub Razor’s chest seductively. The problem I have with fairly evaluating this match is that both men do their job tremendously well. Goldust is almost too good at this role, and Razor is fantastic at playing the frustrated babyface. Whatever character they were asked to do, they both knocked it out the park - it’s just a shame that I can’t overlook my own feelings for the storyline.
I wish I could say this is the most distasteful storyline of the remaining list, but unfortunately it is not.
The end of the match sees the 123 Kid, who recently turned heel, climb to the top rope and hit a spinning wheel kick to Razor - and allowing Goldust to pick up his first gold in WWE.
This would be one of the final feuds in Scott Hall’s WWE run. He didn’t like being part of this feud at all, which was meant to run to Wrestlemania 12 (Hall would be replaced by Roddy Piper in the whacky Hollywood Backlot Brawl). According to Kevin Nash, the reason Hall didn’t like this is because he had a 5 year old son at home, and he didn’t like the idea of having to answer questions to his son about why he was being assaulted by another man. Afterwards the feud with 123 Kid would follow, which included them wrestling over diapers and who was a crybaby (if that doesn’t sound like mid-90s WWE, I don’t know what does). It’s no surprise that when WCW came along with a metric fuck-tonne of guaranteed money and the opportunity to be part of one of the most ambitious storylines in wrestling history, that Hall jumped at the chance.
Up Next - Mr Anti-Wrestlemania headlines his first Wrestlemania. Also Triple H.
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