100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 54 - Bray Wyatt vs. Kane
Ring of Fire Match - Summerslam 2013
This match is a tease. It taunts you with the one thing that might redeem any negative qualities it has, and then time and again denies you. This is of course the Ring of Fire match. Which is the same as an Inferno match where flames surround the ring. Except it takes the one interesting USP of the Inferno match (the prospect of someone being burned alive), and replaces it with a generic pinfall conclusion. Even before the match starts, just by the very nature of the stipulation, it is teasing you. Jerry Lawler tells us that we’ve never seen anything like this Ring of Fire match, clearly not remembering 1998 WWF possibly because that at the very least promised something perversely interesting.
This would be Bray Wyatt’s first match on the main roster. The Wyatt Family was a gimmick that promised so much. Fantastic compelling promos, an air of mystique surrounding them, and solid production from the company. They had a cool look, memorable entrance, great theme - everything about them felt like something that the WWE could build off of for years. It was too big to fail, and indeed that probably proved to be the case when you think about it. After all, despite the qualms I had about the direction of the Wyatt character, he remained popular throughout every stage of his WWE run - even when he was on the pre-show of Wrestlemania helping Matt Hardy win a battle royal. Despite all the bullshit that would follow, the sheer presence and presentation of them kept them over even at their lowest points on the card.
Unfortunately, even before Bray Wyatt transformed from the excellent creepy cult leader into a rambling magical spooky guy, the match quality wasn’t there. Sometimes that was the talent, sometimes it was a consequence of booking and stipulation, sometimes a mixture of both. Perhaps no match in their catalogue better exemplifies the in-ring career of either man.
For Kane, he’d had a bit of a career renaissance from Team Hell No, becoming more popular and important than he had in years. At this point in 2013, however, Bryan had gone in his own direction, and Kane was left alone. Kane was never a spectacular worker, but in his prime he was on a roster with other guys of his standard - your Tests, Rikishis, etc. That was well over a decade ago by this point, and now he was older, slower, and the standard of wrestling dramatically went up in 2013 thanks to talents like the Shield, Daniel Bryan, Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro. Kane now stood out in a bad way. Once Team Hell No was no more, Kane’s niche in the company disappeared with it. He could work if he had one of those aforementioned talents to bounce off him, but he doesn’t have that luxury here.
There’s a lot of things wrong with this starting with the stipulation. Unlike, say, a barbed wire ropes match which you’d think would be similar, the difference is you can deliver on the barbed wire. There’s no fake promises there - if you watch a barbed wire ropes match you expect, and will, see someone mutilated by the barbed wire.
The Ring of Fire removes that promise. Unlike the Inferno match, that guarantee that the fire will be used is gone. Even in those Inferno Matches, the conclusion of the match was underwhelming, contrived and gimmicky, but at least it had its selling point. All you have here is a regular wrestling match where neither man can use the ropes effectively. Instead the fire sits there, distracting you with its almighty cock tease - mocking you that you could see something cool where someone sets on fire, but you won’t. The wrestlers tease it in the early going, offering a promise they won’t deliver.
The fire itself is gimmicked so that when someone hits the mat, the flames shoot up, which gets a pop from the crowd every time. That is until one very awkward spot where Kane takes a tame bump off a weak elbow, but the flames react like he’s just been hit with a devastating move. Harper and Rowan try to interfere early, only for the flames to shoot up - so clearly there’s no way of them interfering either.
All the above is an issue, but the biggest problem with this match is that it’s just bad wrestling. Kane is particularly awful here. He’s slow, his offence looks like crap, and he looks unmotivated. Kane’s biggest asset as a worker is how safe he is - he’s notoriously safe which is a big reason why the company loved him. It’s also often his biggest weakness, particularly in the twilight years of his career where he’s lost that snap to his moves. The most glaring thing about this is how messy and disjointed it is. One spot sees Kane hit a chokeslam in the ring with absolutely no build up, and no near fall. Just hits his finisher on Wyatt who - might I remind you - is in his very first main roster match. Many people who have bought this show will have their first exposure to Bray Wyatt the wrestler here and he’s effectively been defeated by Kane in 5 minutes.
Rowan and Harper take out a fireman outside - not that we see it because that would be interesting. Instead WWE production completely misses it, so Rowan just appears with a fire extinguisher which fails to put out the flames. Harper tries to put a kendo stick in the ring, only for the flames to once again shoot up and set the end of it on fire. Once again, this is something that might be vaguely cool or interesting. How cool would it be to see a flaming kendo stick used as a weapon? What, it’s too dangerous? Then don’t fucking tease it, then.
Kane hits a second and third chokeslam and just stands and waits, to which the commentators have to make up some bullshit about him wanting to punish Wyatt rather than just pinning the man. Except he’s not punishing Wyatt, he’s just standing. And waiting. And waiting. Meandering around the ring awkwardly because this match is so poorly timed and nobody is in the right place. Harper and Rowan are off getting a fire proof blanket to cover the flames (that conveniently doesn’t shoot up as they’re approaching this time). The interference turned the tide of this match and Wyatt picks up the win. The arena fans chant for Undertaker, but he only works in March and April, guys.
You mean to tell me that this 7 minute match has Kane basically squash Bray in the last few minutes? He beat the shit out of him, hit his finish three times, and could have won at any moment. What a stellar first impression for Bray Wyatt. Visually losing to this slow barely relevant past-it monster, only for it to take 3 people to eventually beat him. Stupid match, bad performances, and even worse booking. If the Wyatt gimmick wasn’t as good as it was, this could have been an even bigger disaster.
This would be the end of the Big Red Machine Kane, as he’d be written off to film See No Evil 2, and then return as Corporate Kane. He’d return to the Big Red Machine gimmick to aid his brother in his feud against the Wyatt Family in 2015 - which proves once and for all that Kane is the far more selfless and considerate of the two brothers given that Undertaker never bothered to help out here.
Up Next - One of the worst championship reigns of all time, in one of the worst gimmick matches of all time, with one of the worst returns of all time.
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