100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 63 - Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley
Raw Women's Championship - Kendo Stick On A Pole - Extreme Rules 2017
This is a tale as old as time. A valiant babyface facing up to their demons, and their insecurities in the face of a bully. In a triumphant culmination of their story, that babyface rises to meet their feelings head on and overcomes hardships in a satisfying manner. The bully is left with their tails between their legs, ruing the day that they awakened the underlying powers of our hero.
Except this is 2017. At a time when writers everywhere decided that logic is overrated shit for nerds, and subverting expectations no matter how stupid = good, WWE decided to do its own tribute to this bizarre line of thinking.
Let’s ignore the fact for a second that any match with the “on a pole” stipulation is more than likely going to suck ass. I say ignore it because thankfully it’s a minimal part of the match. There’s a brief moment with your standard “on a pole” tropes - namely slow climbing of the turnbuckle. But the kendo stick falls off the pole almost immediately after that. When I first watched this I thought it was a botch, but it quickly became apparent that they decided to do away with the “on a pole” aspect of this “on a pole” match. Even for a match as dumb as this one, they still acknowledged the stupidity of the stipulation. I don’t know whether to credit them for realising this, or chastise them for booking the stipulation in the first place.
Fresh off losing the Raw Women’s championship in her home town like the fucking loser she is, Bayley would try and reclaim the title here at Extreme Rules. The kendo stick, which is right up there with a sledgehammer as one of my least favourite weapons in wrestling, was introduced by Alexa in the weeks leading up to the match for no other purpose than to give this match a reason to exist. The main story of this match, which is very important to keep in mind for this review, is that Bayley is too much of a nice person to ever use the kendo stick. She can’t get mean, and that’s why she’ll stay a loser and Alexa will win - at least according to Alexa.
Right from the get go, you can tell this isn’t going to go well because Bayley looks like she’s about to cry as she looks at the kendo stick before the match even begins. Get used to Bayley’s sad face acting because it’s all over this match. It should also be noted that she gets a decent chunk of boos before this match even starts, which shows how fragile her babyface run is at this point. Things only get worse from there, as Alexa seemingly allows Bayley to climb up and get the kendo stick. Bayley - clearly the only person alive oblivious enough to not see this unbelievably transparent setup - makes for the kendo stick only to be pulled back and attacked by Alexa. God, even I hate Bayley watching this match.
As mentioned earlier, the kendo stick drops off the pole early into the match, leaving the two women with a stare down with the weapon in between. Instead of going for the stick, Bayley instead goes for Alexa as she wants to win this match without the stick, according to the commentators. Without much tease or struggle, Bayley manages to get the kendo stick literally seconds later. Then in comes your standard trademark WWE dramatic acting as Bayley is conflicted. Can she use this weapon against Alexa? She thinks about it, with her stupid sad face bad acting, and then eventually decides to use it - only to be stopped in one of the most blatantly obvious cut-off spots ever. Alexa gets to happily beat the shit out of Bayley with the kendo stick for a good minute or so.
Now here’s where the correct, albeit predictable part of the story, is where Bayley eventually gets her hands on the kendo stick again, and either uses it to beat up Alexa - or she wins without it.
Instead, Bayley just loses. Between her hesitating to use the kendo stick and the end of the match, she hits one singular move - her finisher. And then gets thrown head first into the kendo stick and pinned with a DDT. No struggle, no triumphant babyface moment. Alexa, the villain of this story, told everyone that Bayley was a loser with no mean streak. And she was right. Every step of this feud and match served to make Bayley look like a loser and a moron in equal measure. She fell for every one of Alexa’s tricks, and ultimately proved the villain was completely justified in all her slander against her.
The only saving grace to this match is that Alexa is a fun shitbag heel, and it’s a short match.
What is truly mystifying is that the idea that Bayley can’t “get mean” is ludicrous. This story was touched upon in the build up to NXT Takeover: Respect. And do you know what happened there? Bayley stepped up and matched Sasha Banks’ viciousness in a way that felt believable but didn’t make her lose her uber-babyface aura. Instead that was the extra depth that Bayley needed going into her own run as the ace of the NXT women’s division and her entire title reign benefited from that moment of meanness.
This match, and by extension feud, killed Bayley’s babyface run in WWE. So much so that Bayley - one of the most natural babyfaces of her generation - had to turn heel and completely revamp her character two years later before she’d ever sniff this level of relevancy again. NXT babyface Bayley was one of my favourite runs by a female wrestler, and this match truly shows how much WWE dropped the ball with that character on the main roster.
Up Next - You know it’s a wonder they ever did another triple threat match after this one.
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