100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 70 - The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna
WWE Championship - Casket Match - Royal Rumble 1994
I'm sorry.
I know there are a lot of people who think fondly of this match and angle. I know that for many, the Undertaker is this beacon of their childhood, one of their favourite wrestler, or the greatest gimmicks of all time. And to you, I say:
I’m sorry.
For the longest time I've felt like I was in the minority when I talked about my dislike of the Undertaker and his gimmick. Perhaps it was the WWE hype machine, the forums I frequented before Wrestlingclique, or the fact that there’s never felt like a major backlash against his character. For me, it felt like I shouted into the void when I talked about how much I disliked this persona. I wonder if that’s the reason that in my edgy teenage years I gravitated towards the reviews of Scott Keith, arguably the most prominent of the passionately anti-Undertaker reviewers. Over time it has become more of an accepted stance, but you still rarely hear much negativity about the Undertaker gimmick or performer unless you know where to look.
Supernatural stuff in wrestling has always been among my least favourite aspects of professional wrestling - whether it's the Undertaker or otherwise. For many, they’ll have this same perception of supernatural elements in wrestling but with the caveat that excludes the Undertaker from this negativity. But how can I in good conscience criticise the likes of the Fiend and Alexa Bliss for the logical nightmare of having someone with super powers, and not send those criticisms towards the Undertaker too? Arguments can be made that it is a case of execution (after all Undertaker, the man, is a far superior performer than the Fiend, Alexa, Kane, Papa Shango, the Boogeyman, and just about every other person given such a gimmick).
I touched on the logistical nightmare of having a character with superpowers in a universe where normal people do not have them. If Undertaker is impervious to pain, or can teleport, then why does he not simply utilise these at any time rather than when convenient to do a cool stunt? How dumb is this guy that he can have literal superpowers, and still lose matches? Who does he think he is, Krillin?
In fairness to the Undertaker gimmick, he adapted and it became far more bearable as the 90s went along when they ditched the reliance on the urn as the source of his power (and unsurprisingly this also sucked when they brought back this concept in 2004). Once Undertaker stopped having actual superpowers and started being just a weird macabre figure, he became a more enjoyable character and his actual wrestling matches improved significantly which I would not consider a coincidence.
Make no mistake, there are worse pre-1997 Undertaker matches than this - we will inevitably get to those later. However, this match perhaps above all others, exemplifies how fucking stupid this gimmick was. As it pertains to early Undertaker, there is not a thing I like about his presentation outside of the entrance. I don’t like the gimmick matches, I don’t like the promos, and there will be plenty more examples of this as we go through the process.
The idea of this match is that Yokozuna, the WWE Champion, is deathly afraid of the Undertaker and caskets. This would be the second casket match in WWE history after Survivor Series 1992.
The match can basically be split into two parts. There’s the first half of the match, which is a mediocre but wholly inoffensive one on one meeting between Yokozuna and Undertaker. Nothing interesting of note here outside of the fact that Undertaker isn’t much of anything, and essentially beats the hell out of Yokozuna for seven minutes. This whole ordeal made Yokozuna look horrible as he was easily dispatched by Undertaker. After a DDT from Undertaker, Yokozuna is sent into the casket and from there he might as well be having a nap for the next few minutes. Undertaker has the match won and instead of just shutting the lid and winning, he has to stall for the overbooking to kick in.
Here is the second half of the match. First comes Crush, who prevents Undertaker from an easy victory. But it’s not just Crush who gets to be fodder to this unstoppable undead zombie character. Next comes the Great Kabuki, Genichiro Tenryu, and Bam Bam Bigelow to interfere and try to keep Undertaker down, and all failing in the process. Every time the goons look like they’re about to keep Undertaker down, he is brought back to life by Paul Bearer and the power of the urn.
Four men aren’t enough to keep the urn-powered Undertaker down, so more midcarders interfere: Jeff Jarrett, Adam Bomb, the Headshrinkers and Diesel which brings the number of men interfering in this match up to 10, not even counting Mr Fuji and Jim Cornette who are trying to steal the urn from Paul Bearer outside of the ring. And this is all going on while Undertaker is barely selling a thing, and beating up all these goofs repeatedly. Meanwhile, Yokozuna is still for the most part having a nap in the casket. It’s not even interesting brawling either - it’s just midcarders throwing weak looking punches. I think they were going for a chaotic scene, but this was hardly the Nexus debut and instead it was just a visual eyesore.
Eventually, Yokozuna finally does something by grabbing the urn from Paul Bearer. That at last allows the 10 midcard goobers (yes, I called Genichiro Tenryu a midcard goober, bite me) to beat up Undertaker. It’s worth pointing out at this point that the beat down of the now-lifeless Undertaker goes on for a long, long time - literally half of this 15 minute match is dedicated to the interference. All the midcarders just take turns hitting big moves on the man that is now seemingly powerless after losing the urn.
There may be arguments that any logistical nightmares are covered by the fact that Undertaker is only immune to pain because of the urn and when that is gone he’s vulnerable. And that would be true if the story was limited to this 15 minute shitshow. But it’s not - Undertaker has had loads of matches before this, and had loads of matches afterwards. He’s still lost - sometimes cleanly - without the urn being taken. He didn’t need 11 people to beat him down previously. This is why anytime you bring supernatural elements into wrestling it never makes sense.
Did I mention that they opened up the urn to reveal spooky green smoke inside it? An undead, impervious to pain, zombie is fighting off 11 people and only loses because the champion stole his urn, which was the source of his super powers. This is every bit as dumb in practice as it is written down.
I hasten to remind the reader that Yokozuna is the WWE champion at this point. In the last two matches I’ve reviewed he’s probably done a combined 3 moves to his opponents. If you think I haven’t touched on Yokozuna much in this review, then it’s simply because he’s barely involved in his own title match outside of being the man to take the urn.
Once the match is mercifully over, Undertaker is wheeled away. Suddenly, the lights go out, and a camera inside the casket shows the Undertaker claiming that he will not rest in peace. A shining light reveals Marty Jannetty / Brooklyn Brawler / the Undertaker being lifted to the heavens or some shite. Goofy, awful, nonsense.
If you like supernatural elements in wrestling, or are a fan of the Undertaker in general, then you probably love this. There is not a thing I can write here that will convince you otherwise. This is very much the sort of thing you’ll either love or you’ll hate. This is not for me, nor will it ever be. I’m sorry.
Up Next - The ECW Championship is defended on a WWE pay-per-view for the very first time.
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