100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 5 - John Cena vs. The Miz

WWE Championship - I Quit Match - Over the Limit 2011

May 19, 2024

I have always hated this match. In the back of my mind, I had this locked into a top 10 spot from the very start of the process, and don’t think I ever questioned it. To put in perspective how critical I am of it, I remember the Wrestlingclique awards of 2011. The worst match of the year award was fiercely competitive, with some arguing for the Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler Wrestlemania match, and others opting for the Jeff Hardy vs Sting debacle. In what may have been the toughest choice in the history of the WC awards, my choice was neither. It was John Cena vs. The Miz - Over the Limit.

A lot of my hatred stems from the fact that every part of this match has been done before, but better. I’m not advocating for nor expecting total originality in everything I watch, and inevitably ideas will be taken over time. However, it is the manner in which these ideas are shamelessly stolen and poisoned with no concept of what made them interesting in the first place. It’s wrestling’s equivalent of a Disney live action remake. Cheap, lazy, and devoid of any of the heart and soul that made the originals special.

Cheap, lazy, and devoid of any heart would be an apt way of describing the performance of either man here. I’ve never made a secret about my dislike of Miz as a performer. I think he’s a painfully average relic of a mediocre period of seemingly cloned WWE-style wrestlers. As for Cena, he can range anywhere from being the best wrestler in the whole world to being an utter abomination on any given night (take a guess where this performance lands on that spectrum).

Since I’ve mentioned the theft of ideas, I suppose it may be worth first looking into that a bit further before getting into the match itself. I’ve mentioned previously that I’m a big believer in recognising when things work to help identify when they do not. In that regard, I rewatched three other I Quit matches in preparation for this review, to help demonstrate why Miz vs Cena failed on every level.

The Rock vs Mankind - Royal Rumble 1999 - This was obviously aided by Foley’s willingness to put himself through immeasurable, reckless pain for our entertainment. Because of the finish, this will naturally parallel the Miz vs Cena match. The key difference however, is that Rock tried everything in his power to make Foley say “I Quit”. He brutalised Foley, threw him off a ladder into electrical equipment, and put him through the announce table. And, of course, smashed him with 7 degrees of CTE with those chair shots in one of the most iconic, barbaric scenes in WWE history. The finish is a cop-out and pretty dumb, but it works on some level because you could conceivably believe Foley quitting in that moment given the barrage of chair shots. Not only that, but Rock used it as a last resort - he had done everything in his power to make Foley quit, and only after the chairshots did he realise that nothing he could ever do would make Foley say those words on that night. He needed Plan B. Miz doesn’t do anything barbaric outside of generic PG style WWE brawling spots, so he came across as a guy who tried nothing and was all out of ideas.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield - Judgment Day 2005 - In watching this I realised that a big flaw that the Miz match has is that Miz has never had that “oh, this guy is actually a tough SOB” moment. Cowardly heels can be cowardly, but at some point you need to give them that credible moment so the fans can always believe that, when push comes to shove, they can be as nasty and resilient as anyone. Triple H, Rock, Edge and Orton all had that match against Foley. JBL’s entire character before the JBL gimmick was that he was a tough barroom brawler who wasn’t scared of any fight. Hell, the pre-match video package tells you all you need to know that JBL may be cowardly, but he’s a tough survivor who has been in every kind of match imaginable. That gives JBL just enough credibility for a match like this, along with his own inherent tough-guy style of wrestling. Cena’s blade job also helps this, making for a brutal match where the heel felt like - for 25 minutes - the most vicious SOB in the company.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton - Breaking Point 2009 - Of all the previous I Quit matches, this one is most similar to Cena vs Miz. It is structured in much the same way, with Orton dominating for 95% of it before Cena wins quickly. The key difference is that Orton's offence is interesting. He’s slow and methodical like Miz, but Orton’s character was an established psychopath who had done some heinous things in 2009. He’s cold, calculating, and unnerving. This is an excellent Orton performance where his character work shines through. Again, Orton has that credibility too - he’s a main event wrestler for the past 5 years and been through some absolute wars. The torture to Cena feels meaningful because Orton is meaningful. I could have lived with a bit more of a fight from Orton at the end, but the torture section of this is tremendous, especially in the restrictive PG era of WWE. Cena’s selling is also worlds better than Over The Limit 2011 because Cena just feels like he’s sleepwalking through the entirety of the Miz match.

Trying to make Miz and Cena a rehash of these makes for a tedious slog of a match where the viewer ends up just wishing they were watching one of those much better matches. They were put in a difficult position because Miz is not credible as a tough guy. I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with cowardly heels. While they can be fun, they underwhelm when they’re put in a position where they need to be a credible threat. I Quit matches always face an uphill struggle because it’s difficult at the best of times to make a compelling case that a babyface may quit. Nevermind when it’s literally the gimmick of the superhero babyface is that he Never Gives Up.

For that reason, if I were piecing this together, I would flip the match entirely. Subvert expectations and do something they haven’t done before. Make this Miz’s “tough guy” moment. Rather than have Cena sell for Miz in a heatless match where nobody for one second buys Miz as a threat, have Cena beat the shit out of Miz and Miz takes a surprising amount of punishment before eventually succumbing. Would it have worked? Given these two’s track record against each other, probably not. But at least it’s something different and therefore somewhat interesting.

In the weeks leading up to the show, Miz declared that he had a big surprise that he promised would shock everyone and guarantee his victory. That big surprise? Alex Riley. That’s it. The lackey whose fake tan is dripping like Rudy Giuliani’s hair dye. The goof that has been in every Miz match for the last year is the secret weapon in a reveal that makes the Tito Ortiz August 1 Warning feel like Bash at the Beach 1996.

Within 30 seconds of the bell, Cena gets the STFU in, only for Riley to make the quick save. In 2 minutes he’s already hitting an Attitude Adjustment on Miz, making it essentially two quick visual wins. This would be an eerie indication of the credibility this wants us to believe Miz has.

Perhaps my only praise for this match is one singular unintentionally hilarious line by Booker T on commentary: “with limited skills and ability, John Cena has been able to do the unthinkable and hold the WWE Championship for a long time”.

Following that brief opening with Cena offence, he gets almost none until the match is restarted in 22 minutes time. Now we’re left with the Miz and Alex Riley working what is essentially a 2-on-1 handicap match. Quick, name your favourite handicap match ever. Because of this environment, it’s designed so that Cena gets very little opportunity to come back, and any comeback attempts are quickly shut down. That means the entirety of this match lives and dies by the quality and credibility of the Miz and Alex Riley. Two completely uninteresting generic wrestlers with their generic WWE offence killing time in the most mindless, boring way for 22 excruciating minutes. I feel like a broken record by constantly discussing match length, but how on earth does whoever put this together think that this is an appropriate length of time for this match? You would think that in a no disqualification environment they’d be able to do something creative, but neither are imaginative enough to do anything interesting outside of the most basic stuff like using a chair or a kendo stick.

Hey, this looks like it might lead to an interesting spot.

Nope.

Do you want to quit, Cena?

It’s not just the match structure that is baffling. A lot of my criticisms of the Edge vs Randy Orton apply here. After nearly move, any potential pacing of the match is crucified by the incessant need to ask Cena if he wants to quit. If you’ve ever watched a John Cena I Quit match, you’ll know about the awkward dumb cadence he has when saying “No” every 30 seconds.

Cena rammed into the barricade. “Do you want to quit, Cena?” … “No” … “He said no!”

Cena hit with a suplex. “Do you want to quit, Cena?” … long dramatic pause … “no” … “He said no!”

Cena thrown into the steel steps. “Do you want to quit, Cena?” … another long dramatic pause … heavy breathing … “no” … “He said no!”

This is repeated to an honestly disgusting extent. There’s no shifts in story, or drama, and very little escalation between the spots. Each spot brings the match to a screeching halt. In a desperate attempt to justify constant questions, Cena is forced to sell every move like death from practically the first minute. Cena’s selling is fucking horrible, as bad as he’s ever done. His heavy breathing and disheartened “no” is forced and implausible.

With it being an I Quit match, they’re afforded the luxury of being able to, for lack of a better phrase, cut promos on each other through the match. And as two well above average talkers, you’d think this could have potential in that regard. You would be wrong. Every time the mic is in Cena’s face it’s nauseating enough when he’s trying to sell the supposedly brutal beatdown. However, it’s even worse when Cena isn’t just saying “no”. It’s at its worst when Cena tries to belittle Miz with such wonderful one-liners as “you hit like a girl” and “you got a leather strap, but you got no balls” (I don’t know if this is supposed to be a pun, but it’s lost on me).

Miz, on the other hand, decides to talk … very … slowly … because … heels … at … this … time … all … pretended … to … be … 2008 … Chris … Jericho. Miz grabs a mic and begins to threaten Cena with an upcoming devastating move such as “I have a leather strap and I’m going to hit you with it”. Miz, who is perhaps the least intimidating and credible main event wrestler in WWE history, has to pretend to be this badass killer. It does not work. Miz’s mic performance here fucking sucks. He is the absolute last person on earth I can think of to be put in this position to have this kind of bout with this particular opponent. It is a failure on every level, and it was painfully obvious this would be the case.

The consequence of this is now - not only are we bringing the match to a halt by asking the question after every move - but he’s now getting asked before every move too.

Defenders of this match may cite the kendo stick and leather strap spots are brutal enough for the stipulation. And yes, they are visually quite good. But the problem is we saw this same premise in the superior Randy Orton match at Breaking Point. Even something as simple as Orton punching Cena in the gut felt more visceral, personal, and hate-filled than anything Miz did with a kendo stick.

One part that they didn’t regurgitate from the remnants of old I Quit matches is the use of handcuffs (nor do we get a repeat of DUCT TAPE? ARE YOU SERIOUS? DUCT TAPE?). However they still feel the need to immobilise Cena, and to circumvent this they use Alex Riley to hold Cena in place. Cena constantly looks like an idiot just staying there while this lower card goober holds him in place, all while Miz is … very … slowly … describing … the … next … move. Often Miz would be describing what he’s going to do next for upwards of an entire minute, all the while Cena has to pretend he can’t do anything at all.

Now imagine this at least ten other times in the match.

In perhaps the only piece of actual creative thought that went into this abomination, Miz starts asking a kid in the front row if Cena should quit. Frankly, if Miz really wanted to make Cena quit he should have threatened the child. Much like most children, the kid is a hopeless actor. Miz shouts at the kid over and over again, finally showing a piece of emotional range that the match desperately needed. I can’t help but get distracted by the kid’s concerned acting face though, which looks like he just got out of Joey Tribiani’s acting school. It’s so funny to watch him pretend to be concerned, while all the other real kids can see through the bullshit of this match and are just smiling because they know Cena is not in any danger.

If you’re going to put a plant in the audience at least give him the most up to date Cena shirt. Fucking amateurs.

This wouldn’t be the last time a child plant would get involved in a Cena main event title match in 2011.

Cena gets himself stuck in the barricade, and then he screams “I QUIT!” after a chair shot to the barricade. Mike Chioda and the commentators are the only people on earth that are dumb enough not to see through this embarrassing charade. This is of course a copycat of the Mankind vs The Rock finish from Royal Rumble 1999. Earlier in the review, I touched on why this doesn’t work here. I Quit matches are rare enough, so the Rumble finish is an original finish that can only happen in that particular environment. The fact that this niche, unique spot is one of the ones they copied is such an insult to the intelligence of the audience.

Unfortunately for Alex Riley, he drops his phone allowing the referee to pick it up. Riley apparently doesn’t have any sort of lock on his Blackberry and the referee was able to replay the audio to confirm his suspicions. In retrospect, Miz was right to drop Riley - you can’t trust anybody that has no respect for his own electronic security. The finish and restart is not only a rehash of a finish done countless times before, but it’s also a rehash of a finish between Miz and John Cena from a match on Raw 3 weeks earlier. In that match, Miz beat Cena thanks to Alex Riley’s interference and the use of the WWE Championship. When Riley is celebrating, he drops the WWE Title and the referee realises that tomfoolery is afoot and the match is restarted. These creatively bankrupt morons couldn’t even be arsed to think of something different from a match three weeks earlier featuring these same two wrestlers.

Immediately after the restart, Cena shrugs off all the offence of the last 20 minutes, and dispatches Riley effortlessly. He hits Miz a few times with a belt before they make it to the top of the ramp. Cena promptly puts him in the STFU and Miz immediately quits like a little bitch. Forget Summerslam 2010, this might be the most egregious example of the Super Cena trope ever. I’m not a Miz fan, I’ll never be a Miz fan, and even I’ll tell you he looked like shit as a result of this. Cowardly heels are allowed to quit immediately, but to not even let him put up a fight is pure laziness.