100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 11 - Steven Richards vs. Tyson Tomko
Unforgiven 2004
It takes a lot to unite people.
We live in a world where the simplest human right somehow ends up as a cause for division. Even in our relatively niche little fandom of wrestling, the tribalism and division can feel overwhelming at times. It takes something truly remarkable for something to unite us all.
But, against all odds, this match achieves just that. This could be one of the most unanimously despised matches in wrestling history. It was agreed from the moment it first aired in 2004 that this was one of the worst things ever put to TV by a major wrestling company, and that stance has never wavered in the 20 years since. Even in some of the top 10 yet to come, there will be some defenders - many of which I’ve debated over the years.
This match has no defenders, not even so much as a “it’s not as bad as people say it is”. If we as wrestling fans can have different opinions, tastes, and engage in petty tribalism, then perhaps we can always be united by how utterly catastrophic, embarrassing, offensive this is.
Tyson Tomko debuted in 2004 among a litany of other fresh young talent introduced following Wrestlemania. He even found himself thrust into a prominent position as he debuted with Trish Stratus (the number 1 female star in the company) and Christian (who was currently in one of the longest running feuds in the company with Chris Jericho).
In August 2004, a Mystery Woman - quite clearly a man in drag - showed up sporting an ugly red wig and a long dress. They would help Victoria in her matches and feud with Trish Stratus leading up to Unforgiven. On the first night the Mystery Woman turned up, the fans chanted for Stevie Richards as they immediately recognised who it was, probably without even needing the natural link to Victoria. This made it all the more ridiculous when the wrestlers had to pretend they didn’t know who the Mystery Woman was.
At Unforgiven, Trish defeated Victoria with the assistance of Tomko. Afterward, the Mystery Woman returned to save Victoria from a post-match beatdown. As the Mystery Woman retreats to the back, Tyson Tomko gets on the mic in what is almost assuredly one of the first times we’ve heard him speak for any noticeable length of time. “Either that thing is going to come out here and fight me or I’ll go back there and I’ll drag it out myself. What’s it going to be …. You cross-dressing hermaphrodite”.
This leads into the first and obviously biggest problem with all of this. This angle is littered with transphobia, and aims to degrade drag performers at every opportunity. Every time the Mystery Woman is on screen, you’ll hear everyone describe them as “ugly”. This sinks to even lower depths on this night with Tomko’s comments - not just in the promo beforehand - but in the trash talking through the match. Even 20 years later, the stigma of being trans is felt around the world. Rather than - you know - as people with rights and feelings, this community has been turned into a cultural weapon for politics everywhere. The whole angle is extremely uncomfortable and tasteless, designed to humiliate Steven Richards and take a cheap jab at a persecuted group. It is very easy to punch down.
JR describes the Mystery Woman as the worst kept secret in WWE, to which Jerry Lawler says, I quote “come on JR, go along with it”.
The Mystery Woman slaps Tomko, who immediately rips off the dress and strips Richards down to his underwear, finally uncovering the secret identity. JR and Lawler start debating if it is a woman, as Lawler references that he can see a “winky”. Tomko rips off Richards’ top and reveals a bra, to which Lawler cries “see it is a woman! She’s wearing a bra!”
I hate typing this out.
What follows is some of the most excruciating few minutes of wrestling you’re ever likely to see. Tomko sucks at this early point in his career, and spends his time plodding around the ring. As the man that controls most of the match, he dedicates that time to shoving Richards’ stuffed bra in his mouth, punching the wig, and chinlocks. It begs the question why so long was dedicated to this segment, and relying on a green wrestler to make it watchable. This beatdown goes on forever, and is just unpleasant to look at. It’s unpleasant to listen to JR and King debate about granny panties and what a woman is. It’s unpleasant to hear Tomko trash talk and call Richards a “big sissy”. The crowd absolutely hates every second of this, as do I.
Stevie tries to hulk up which gets no reaction at all. The Richards babyface comeback is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. After he gets called a sissy, that sets Richards off, and he grabs Tomko’s balls because this match just needed more genitalia references. It ends with Richards getting distracted by his own bra lying on the floor for some reason, which allows Tomko to hit his swinging neckbreaker for the win.
Generally I’ve tried to think of something positive to say about every match on the list. This is one of the few matches to date with absolutely zero redeeming quality to it. Not a cool move, no cute dogs at ringside, not a “so bad it’s good” hilarity, not an awesome entrance with a vulture, not even so much as a funny line of commentary. There is nothing positive about this. I can’t even give it praise for being short, because the match is so awkward to watch, and Tomko’s offence is so excruciatingly dull, that the 6 and a half minutes feels like an eternity. This is an empty black hole of so-called entertainment. It is vile, gross, uncomfortable, and doesn't even have the dignity to lead to anything. The storyline is dropped and quickly forgotten about, which in retrospect is almost certainly for the best.
To put in perspective just how tragic this truly is, the last three weeks of 2004 Raw featured:
The slut shaming of Trish Stratus by commentary, fans, and her on-screen partner Christian.
The bloody steel cage beatdown of a guy with special needs by Triple H.
The diva search contest which included Christy Hemme eating a pie with her ass.
The continuation of the Kane and Lita angle where she was raped, impregnated, and forced to wed Kane. (bonus point: they are a week away from the Lita miscarriage angle that ultimately turns her rapist babyface)
The swift kneecapping of the failing babyface Randy Orton run, and rushing the title back on Triple H as quickly as possible.
And yet, this, this right here, is unanimously considered the worst part of - not only this time period - but 2004 as a whole.
The only saving grace to this that saves it from the top 10 is that it never happened on a major scale (outside of the fact this is a show that cost people $40 to watch on pay-per-view). Nor did it have any long-term consequences. It also isn’t the worst example of transphobia / drag bashing in WWE history - which is more of a damning criticism of WWE rather than any sort of feint praise for this match. For those reasons, it narrowly avoids the dreaded top 10 spot. With all that said, I simply have one piece of advice for anyone following this series:
Do not watch this.
Up Next - For $3million, I really hope this was worth it.
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