100 Worst WWE Matches Ever - 15 - Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna
WWE Championship - Wrestlemania 9
As mentioned in my teaser, this was by far my toughest placement. There are some of you that may read this and think that a 22 second match does not fit the original parameters that I laid out. After all, there’s only so much damage that can be done bell-to-bell in just 22 seconds. In fact, in those 22 seconds, there’s more moves here than there were in the 8 minute Goldust vs Ultimate Warrior match. There may be others that say that due to the sheer amount of bullshit involved here, that I’ve been too generous in my placement. There is an argument, this match represents the very worst of WWE.
This led me to the number 15 placement, which I feel is a bit of fence sitting on my behalf. While I recognise that this may be the most ridiculous, ill-sighted decision in WWE’s history, at 22 seconds long there’s only so much that the booking surrounding it can propel it up the list. Other matches higher up not only have the stupid booking, but also an equally bad wrestling match attached.
Following Wrestlemania 8, Hulk Hogan disappeared from WWE television. In the midst of the steroid scandal, he distanced himself from professional wrestling and used this opportunity to further his acting career instead. A combination of the steroid scandal, and losing Hogan and other key wrestlers sparked a massive decline in WWE’s popularity. WWE responded by trying to promote the New Generation of wrestling stars, led by Bret Hart. This new, younger, more athletic brand of wrestling tried to fill the void left by the imminent departures of Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Randy Savage, Ultimate Warrior, and Roddy Piper (to name a few).
Yokozuna debuted in 1992 and won the 1993 Royal Rumble to earn a WWE Championship match against Bret Hart. Hogan, meanwhile, returned in early 1993 to defend the honour of his friend Brutus Beefcake against Money Inc. Hogan and Beefcake would fail to claim the Tag Team Championships at Wrestlemania 9 thanks to the 2nd of 3 DQ finishes on the show. Prior to the main event, Hulk Hogan cut a promo backstage. If you’re ever curious why he’s sporting a nasty black eye here, that’s thanks to a backstage punch from Randy Savage (Miss Elizabeth issues, life imitates art). Hogan claims in his promo he’s a big fan of The Hitman, and knows that Bret will win to keep the title in the United States.
That is the other factor in this story. Yokozuna is the big bad foreign heel fighting under the banner of the Japanese flag (despite being Samoan). Now here’s Bret Hart, famous Canadian, wrestling for the honour of the United States and to keep the Championship there. It’s the biggest proxy war since Vietnam.
The match between Bret Hart and Yokozuna is pretty good, albeit with a shitty finish where Bret locks in the Sharpshooter, only for Mr Fuji to throw salt in his eyes allowing Yokozuna to pick up the win and the WWE Championship mere months after his debut.
Much to the delight of the Las Vegas crowd, Hulk Hogan returns to the ring to check up on his friend, Bret. In the midst of this, Mr Fuji - who may just challenge John Cena as the dumbest person that we’ve seen to date - challenges Hulk Hogan to a fight against Yokozuna, and even offers to put the WWE Championship on the line. I don’t think I need to explain how nonsensical it is for a heel manager to challenge a babyface immediately after their man won their title.
Hogan continues to check in with Bret. Bret’s “go get ‘em, Hulk” is one of the most disgusting images in the history of wrestling. Hogan obliges, and the impromptu title match is on. Mr Fuji tries to throw salt in the eye of Hogan, who dodges and it blinds Yokozuna instead. A clothesline knocks Yokozuna down, and the Leg Drop wins Hogan his 5th WWE Championship. The crowd erupts, giving the biggest ovation of the entire night. As years of Money in the Bank cash-ins have proven, this is not an indication that this was a wise decision, nor is it indicative of sustained success and popularity. It’s a cheap manipulative tactic because title changes are fun and exciting to a live audience, especially unexpected ones. But, in fairness to this moment, the crowd in attendance absolutely loved it.
The bout itself is not interesting or worth talking about in any detail. It is horrible in its execution as it somehow manages to make everyone involved in the actual main event look like a complete moron. However, everything behind the scenes is fascinating.
According to Bret, he’d been promised by Vince McMahon that he was set to be WWE Champion for the long haul. He reassured him that Hogan’s return was just to be in a tag title feud, to promote his movie, and wouldn’t interfere with the main event scene at all. Whether due to pressure from Hulk Hogan himself, or by the declining popularity of WWE, Vince decided the day before Wrestlemania 9 that Hogan would walk out of the show as the champion. The popular belief is that Hogan pitched the idea to Vince. When Hogan, Vince, and Bret got together to discuss the finish, Hogan promised that he’d return the favour to Bret at a later date.
My theory is that this is for the most part a classic Hulk Hogan political hit. With WWE’s popularity down the drain, Hogan could provide a short boost with an injection of star power. By using his own popularity for that big pop and temporary boost, he would strengthen his negotiating powers with both WWE and WCW (whom he was already in negotiations with). This was a common Hogan strategy during his WCW run. He’d take convenient holidays when Nitro would clash with big NBA games, then come back to prove that he was the reason for the bump to ratings.
From Vince’s perspective this was a last Hail Mary - an attempt to boost the popularity of WWE and also butter up Hogan in time for negotiating. It was a massive lapse in judgement.
Following Wrestlemania 9, Hogan did not defend the WWE Championship or even wrestle again on WWE television until he lost it back to Yokozuna at King of the Ring. He did, however, tour New Japan Pro Wrestling briefly after winning the title - and in the process called the WWE Championship a “toy” in an attempt to build up to a match for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. Hogan would later claim that the interview was mistranslated and taken out of context. Despite the fact that the interview was taped … and in English.
There were alleged plans for Hogan versus Bret to wrestle one another at Summerslam. In 1993, Bret Hart versus Hulk Hogan was the biggest match that WWE could conceivably run, and the history was already there following Wrestlemania. According to Bret, they ran promotional shots for the prospective match, though images of those shoots have never surfaced, nor was it ever officially announced. Behind the scenes, Hogan outright refused to put Bret over, never repaying that promise made prior to Wrestlemania 9. Bret considered Hogan a good friend up until 1993, but this sequence of events destroyed that friendship. Bret has unsurprisingly held that grudge against Hogan ever since and - in a way typical of Bret Hart - will to this day tell anyone that will listen how much of a piece of shit Hogan was.
Hogan would leave WWE following 1993 King of the Ring, which would be his last televised wrestling appearance in the USA until he debuted in WCW in mid 1994. Given the follow up, the decision to put the WWE Championship on Hogan in 1993 was one of the worst decisions in the history of the WWE. It was a short-sighted gamble by McMahon to bump the ratings and convince Hogan to stay with the company. Instead, the WWE’s popularity remained stagnant, and Hogan had no intention of re-signing with the company. All it did was derail the main event pushes of Bret Hart and Yokozuna. Subsequent efforts to replace Hulk Hogan with Lex Luger were - less than successful to say the least. Everything would come full circle in a year’s time when Bret Hart and Yokozuna would wrestle once again in the main event of Wrestlemania, correcting some of the many wrongs committed in 1993.
Up Next - “I’m Sorry, I Love You” may have done more harm for wrestling than good.
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